As I sit here the Thursday before Easter I have been thinking alot lately how this last year has turned out to be. Let's just say my last the past year and a hlaf has not turned out the way I ever thought it would go! Last night while I have visiting family in Seattle for Easter I went to dinner to catch with one of my best friends whom I have not seen since graduation which is close to 2 years now, and we were discussing on how things have turned out for us since college has ending and both being in a similar situation we have both realized being in a early twenty's we are at a place in life that we never thought be would be. Graduated from college, working in a job full time that we absolutely dread getting up in the morning to go to, living at home with our parents, no close friends and still waiting to know what the Lord wants us to do with the rest of our lives! When I started college in 2003 I thought at this time of my life I would be married, have job that I love and passionate about and living to God's full potential in my life. To be living at home, have a job that I dread, not having any close friendships is somethere I never ever expected to be! Last night as I was contemplating everything over the past year or so I really realized I have never been truly happy in the past 2 years! It seems that everything seems to go wrong and I have no happiness in my life anymore. I have always thought I have been such a joyful person and I cannot even remember the last time I have had joy in my life anymore. Alot of my close friendships that I tought I would really be there during a time like this have really fallen off, and that is a huge disappointment. It makes me wonder where has everyone gone?! These feelings I have seemed to dwell on for the past 6 months have just gotten me so depressed. But then last night as a reading a book by dee bright that if we want to find joy in our lives and we want the Lord to fill us with that joy we need to find a way to get ourselves out of the rut we have found ourselves in!! I have been in this horrible rut for a year and a half what I need to do is to find joy in the blessings that I do have in my life. I am blessed to have an amazing family who is always supportive, a great new church family at sun valley, to even have a job in this economy right now and most importantly to have a God who loves me unconditionally!!!
As I was thinking of everything that has happened to me over the past year, I have also been thinking about those who have got through even more, such as losing their job or losing a loved one. To realize I have so many amazing blessing in my life that I need to STOP focusing on the things that I don't have and take a look outside of my own problems. That there are so many people with so many other things that have filled their life with so much darkness! As a women of God I want to be a light in this world of darkness to those who feel that there is no way out of the dark times that they are in! I want to help those and show them that God does have an amazing plan for them to there is a light out of the darkness! I hope we can all find lightness in times where we have given up hope! Never forget that Christ gives us a hope that is neverending and he will never leave us or forsake us!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Music & Passion!!
Tonight I was watching Carrie's Underwood performance on the CMA's and it really inspired me to write a little blog about it!
I don't really write alot of these and I am not sure why I decided to write this one down here but here it goes...
Music has such an intense affect on all of us there is just something that touches and hearts that words so much of the times cannot express. I know whenever I feel like the words just aren't there, there will be a song that fits so perfectly to what the laying heavily on my heart at that very moment. For the past few days with Veteran's Day just passing it has reminded me of all of our soldiers fighting for us and how they are so easily forgotten, tonight when I heard Carrie Underwood's performance of "Just A Dream" it reminded how powerful their act of service is for all of us. Sometimes we so easily forget the impact that they having on our daily lives! It literally brought me to tears We are so blessed to live in a country where we have the freedom to live how we like, believe what we choose to believe. etc. With everything going on in our country with the election, raising gas prices, the economy, etc. We so easily forget that we have friends and loved ones fighting for their lives! That there are thousands of our friends and family who live with the stress of not knowing if their loved ones are going to coming home or not. Not only should be constantly in support of our own troops but being support and prayer for those who have loved ones serving overseas. Her song "Just A Dream" is such a reminder what an impact it has to lose a loved one in such a horrific manner and that we all need as friends & family to constantly be there to support them. To imagine that they say that heroes not not exist and we have thousands of them serving every single day, the unsung heroes of our nation's freedom!
David's song "Light On" reminds me of all those serving so far away from home and that should always keep our hearts "on" for them and to never forget them!! It is the little signs of support for our troops that will keep them encouraged to know that their service is not in vain!!
I don't really write alot of these and I am not sure why I decided to write this one down here but here it goes...
Music has such an intense affect on all of us there is just something that touches and hearts that words so much of the times cannot express. I know whenever I feel like the words just aren't there, there will be a song that fits so perfectly to what the laying heavily on my heart at that very moment. For the past few days with Veteran's Day just passing it has reminded me of all of our soldiers fighting for us and how they are so easily forgotten, tonight when I heard Carrie Underwood's performance of "Just A Dream" it reminded how powerful their act of service is for all of us. Sometimes we so easily forget the impact that they having on our daily lives! It literally brought me to tears We are so blessed to live in a country where we have the freedom to live how we like, believe what we choose to believe. etc. With everything going on in our country with the election, raising gas prices, the economy, etc. We so easily forget that we have friends and loved ones fighting for their lives! That there are thousands of our friends and family who live with the stress of not knowing if their loved ones are going to coming home or not. Not only should be constantly in support of our own troops but being support and prayer for those who have loved ones serving overseas. Her song "Just A Dream" is such a reminder what an impact it has to lose a loved one in such a horrific manner and that we all need as friends & family to constantly be there to support them. To imagine that they say that heroes not not exist and we have thousands of them serving every single day, the unsung heroes of our nation's freedom!
David's song "Light On" reminds me of all those serving so far away from home and that should always keep our hearts "on" for them and to never forget them!! It is the little signs of support for our troops that will keep them encouraged to know that their service is not in vain!!
Friday, October 10, 2008
How the time passes...
I happened to wander back here from looking at another blog that I was viewing from a friend of mine...then I had a revelation that I really need to start to blog out my thoughts again. There is just something with taking down my thoughts which helps me in thinking out certain decisons and paths that God wants me to take! So be prepared for more blogs to come...I cannot believe that is already October of 2008 it just feels like yesterday I was a little child where things were so simple. Now coming to the end of 2008 being 24 and still thinking what i want to be when I grow up.
I will continue this thought process later...
I will continue this thought process later...
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Recent happenings
Over the past day or so I have been thinking alot of the circumstances that have happened in my life over the past 6 months...even I am amazed at where God has directed me to! I never thought I would be at this place, this location at this point in my life! A year ago I was 100% certain that God was calling me into DCE ministry but God had other plans. Actually experiencing where I actually fit in ministry and with my own gifts and talents God had revealed to me that He has a different plan for me that I had orginally thought. The past 6 months have caused me to go through a roller coaster of emotions: from depression, loneliness, confusion, frustration, impatient, anger to true content, joy, happiness, excitement...this list could go on forever! But after contemplating everything to has happened with my internship, my life, my family, my friends I am thankful that God had me experience this. The time of my life I have matured and grown in so many ways that I had never thought I needed to or would have to experience. Alot of times we don’t grow and want to see things unless they are forced right into our faces. I know it was that way for me! God had to force something in my face for me to truly see it. Even though sometimes I wish he could have gone by other means to reveal himself more along when I would have liked him to, I know He reveals everything in His perfect timing! God has a divine purpose and reason for everything that happens in our lives!
So many times I have felt that so many of my struggles and frustrations I had to deal with them alone but the answer was soo simple! I just had to ask God for his help and guidance! Gosh, I wish this hadn’t taken me soo long to get this...just another one of those duh! moments!!! It seemed when I started asking for God’s direct help in my life (with finding a job, personal matters, lonliness, happiness) that is when things just started to fall into place again! For about 2 months it seemed like my life was falling apart and that everything was going wrong!! I so easily forget that God is just longing that I seek him and come to Him for help!! If this is the lesson that He had desired for me to learn I am soo thankful that the things that happened.....happened when they did!
I just thought I would update a little about the recent happenings in my life to those of who that I don’t have the opportunity to talk to on a more consistent basis! I think about all of you all the time! I hope everyone is great and know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers!! I love you all soo much! Even if we haven’t talked in months...I am still always here for all of you!!
If you find time I would love to receive a phone call, text, comment, message, etc from each and everyone of you!!
In Christ’s Embrace,
Michelle/Miche/Ehawe
So many times I have felt that so many of my struggles and frustrations I had to deal with them alone but the answer was soo simple! I just had to ask God for his help and guidance! Gosh, I wish this hadn’t taken me soo long to get this...just another one of those duh! moments!!! It seemed when I started asking for God’s direct help in my life (with finding a job, personal matters, lonliness, happiness) that is when things just started to fall into place again! For about 2 months it seemed like my life was falling apart and that everything was going wrong!! I so easily forget that God is just longing that I seek him and come to Him for help!! If this is the lesson that He had desired for me to learn I am soo thankful that the things that happened.....happened when they did!
I just thought I would update a little about the recent happenings in my life to those of who that I don’t have the opportunity to talk to on a more consistent basis! I think about all of you all the time! I hope everyone is great and know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers!! I love you all soo much! Even if we haven’t talked in months...I am still always here for all of you!!
If you find time I would love to receive a phone call, text, comment, message, etc from each and everyone of you!!
In Christ’s Embrace,
Michelle/Miche/Ehawe
Friday, October 19, 2007
It seems crazy to me at times how fast time goes by, I can't believe close to another month has passed by. Life is Arizona continues to be a great experience! There is alot to think and pray about for next year. So weird to be actually thinking about them issuing me a call in a few months. When people ask me how I am feeling about being out here I am not really sure how I should respond...I want to say great because I love the church and the people here are so amazing! But then a part of me is unsure because there are tiny frustrations and concerns that I have. So most of the time I say that things are going ok, because they could be better and yet they could be worse. There are always things that I wish I could change right now, but I know that the Lord has a plan through all of this. I just need to place my trust in Him and He will reveal to himself all in due time. There are always those thoughts in my head that scare me but I know I cannot dwell on the things that I cannot change.
Even though I have only been here for a little over 4 months at times I feel like I have been here forever! Maybe it is so much has changed since then and then maybe it is I that has changed since last May. Sometimes when I talk to people back at school, camp or wherever I feel like I am a completely different person from when I last saw them. It scares me to say this but I think the connection I once had with this certain person is going away. It makes me sad to think that we are not as close as we used to be. But sometimes as we grow and mature sometimes those friendships change as well and in not always a bad way. I just feel like there is something different and I cannot really explain what that difference is.
There has been so many thoughts in my mind lately, being here without alot of friends my age it has given me alot of times to think about so much. Sometimes that is a good thing or a bad thing it really all depends. It has helped me come to term with so much and get over so many things that I needed to move on pass. I feel like I am in such a total different place in my life, that I have this new found contentedness and independence that I never have had before! It is such an amazing feeling! I am so excited t osee where the Lord is going to lead me in the next few months!!!
In Christ,
Miche/ Ehawee
Even though I have only been here for a little over 4 months at times I feel like I have been here forever! Maybe it is so much has changed since then and then maybe it is I that has changed since last May. Sometimes when I talk to people back at school, camp or wherever I feel like I am a completely different person from when I last saw them. It scares me to say this but I think the connection I once had with this certain person is going away. It makes me sad to think that we are not as close as we used to be. But sometimes as we grow and mature sometimes those friendships change as well and in not always a bad way. I just feel like there is something different and I cannot really explain what that difference is.
There has been so many thoughts in my mind lately, being here without alot of friends my age it has given me alot of times to think about so much. Sometimes that is a good thing or a bad thing it really all depends. It has helped me come to term with so much and get over so many things that I needed to move on pass. I feel like I am in such a total different place in my life, that I have this new found contentedness and independence that I never have had before! It is such an amazing feeling! I am so excited t osee where the Lord is going to lead me in the next few months!!!
In Christ,
Miche/ Ehawee
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
First post...
I have decided to finally get on the band wagon with this whole blogging thing...A few years ago I would blog and journal alot with a roommate of mine and it has been something that I have wanted to get back into for a long time now. When I blog I tend not to think about grammatical errors, so for you english majors and perfectionists out there I apologize :) I tend to just write down thoughs as they come to be at that moment.The past months the Lord has really revealed to me alot and I am so excited to see what the rest of my internship year has in store! I have learned so much already! I was really struggling with lonliness the first few months because it was really hard to be out here alone and not having any close friends my age but the Lord and his faithfulness has given me that strength that I am here for a reason. That in timing he will place those people into my life again in His perfect timing.
At this moment right now...I am perfectly content with where the Lord has me! I haven't been this happy in such a long time and it is such a blessing to feel that way! If anyone is wondering how I am doing out here in Arizona...I am doing great for the most part! I love my church, the people I work with, my apartment, the people in my church, etc.!!! I feel so incredibly blessed that the Lord has placed me here! I just hope that I am making the people here proud to call me their DCE Intern and that I am successful here! Even though times in minitry can be hard and frustrating...overall I am having a great experience soo far!!!
More to come later....
In Christ,
Michelle
At this moment right now...I am perfectly content with where the Lord has me! I haven't been this happy in such a long time and it is such a blessing to feel that way! If anyone is wondering how I am doing out here in Arizona...I am doing great for the most part! I love my church, the people I work with, my apartment, the people in my church, etc.!!! I feel so incredibly blessed that the Lord has placed me here! I just hope that I am making the people here proud to call me their DCE Intern and that I am successful here! Even though times in minitry can be hard and frustrating...overall I am having a great experience soo far!!!
More to come later....
In Christ,
Michelle
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