As I sit here the Thursday before Easter I have been thinking alot lately how this last year has turned out to be. Let's just say my last the past year and a hlaf has not turned out the way I ever thought it would go! Last night while I have visiting family in Seattle for Easter I went to dinner to catch with one of my best friends whom I have not seen since graduation which is close to 2 years now, and we were discussing on how things have turned out for us since college has ending and both being in a similar situation we have both realized being in a early twenty's we are at a place in life that we never thought be would be. Graduated from college, working in a job full time that we absolutely dread getting up in the morning to go to, living at home with our parents, no close friends and still waiting to know what the Lord wants us to do with the rest of our lives! When I started college in 2003 I thought at this time of my life I would be married, have job that I love and passionate about and living to God's full potential in my life. To be living at home, have a job that I dread, not having any close friendships is somethere I never ever expected to be! Last night as I was contemplating everything over the past year or so I really realized I have never been truly happy in the past 2 years! It seems that everything seems to go wrong and I have no happiness in my life anymore. I have always thought I have been such a joyful person and I cannot even remember the last time I have had joy in my life anymore. Alot of my close friendships that I tought I would really be there during a time like this have really fallen off, and that is a huge disappointment. It makes me wonder where has everyone gone?! These feelings I have seemed to dwell on for the past 6 months have just gotten me so depressed. But then last night as a reading a book by dee bright that if we want to find joy in our lives and we want the Lord to fill us with that joy we need to find a way to get ourselves out of the rut we have found ourselves in!! I have been in this horrible rut for a year and a half what I need to do is to find joy in the blessings that I do have in my life. I am blessed to have an amazing family who is always supportive, a great new church family at sun valley, to even have a job in this economy right now and most importantly to have a God who loves me unconditionally!!!
As I was thinking of everything that has happened to me over the past year, I have also been thinking about those who have got through even more, such as losing their job or losing a loved one. To realize I have so many amazing blessing in my life that I need to STOP focusing on the things that I don't have and take a look outside of my own problems. That there are so many people with so many other things that have filled their life with so much darkness! As a women of God I want to be a light in this world of darkness to those who feel that there is no way out of the dark times that they are in! I want to help those and show them that God does have an amazing plan for them to there is a light out of the darkness! I hope we can all find lightness in times where we have given up hope! Never forget that Christ gives us a hope that is neverending and he will never leave us or forsake us!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
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